Experience articles for people who saw suicide incidents

 I'm Telling My Story

I'd want to tell you two stories.  First is a numerical value. 3139. It's not a large sum. This is a level of counting that a kindergartener could understand. In 2020, 3139 people committed suicide.1

The second is a one-person narrative. His name was Mr. Mack, but he refused to use it.

We rushed passed him during recess and he said, "Call me Dave," with a smile.

Gardener for the school was Mr. Mack. At least he was paid for that work. How he treated us as students was his work that truly stood out. Someone who transformed a location where we received education into a school—a place we aspired to go—hide behind the stern façade.We saw Mr. Mack was much less active in the school. The bench where he usually ate lunch was strangely deserted. We once noticed a figure sitting on the bench. To kick the ball with Mr. Mack, our group ran over with the football.

When we caught his eye, he gave us an expressionless glance. one who failed to recognize us.

Did the children need anything? The new school gardener said that.

I was a young person then. I was ignorant of Mr. Mack's suffering at the time. Depression is what we'd call it, although I'm not sure he knew what that was. He took the agony with him by drinking it away. As the years passed, Mr. Mack's health deteriorated. 

His liver started to malfunction. He died shortly after that. On his death certificate, cirrhosis would have been listed as the cause of death, but that was not the case.

Mr. Mack was one individual. In addition, he served as our class's hero and was a wonderful husband and father. He was one of the 3139 people that didn't make the cut. This figure simply represents the very top. The invisible suicide victims, or the deaths that don't make statistics, are people like Mr. Mack.

STORY OF MY FIANCEE

Only those who have personally gone through the loss of a loved one to suicide can truly understand it. However, at a time when everyone is experiencing such profound grief, insults and charges are made with the intention of injuring people who are still trying to process what had happened.

Everyone appears to have a different personal opinion about the circumstances that led to the suicide.- It seems that pointing the finger at others is the simpler solution to hide their own deep self-doubt that perhaps they themselves could have or should have said or done something to modify the current situation.Nobody is at fault.- There has been no murder or accident. The consequence of mental disease is suicide in this case.- A thinking disorder was present at the time of suicide, regardless of how long the illness had been present.

Why are we so hesitant to acknowledge that a loved one's death was just the result of poor judgment? They have a confused will-I, won't-I mentality. Their final judgment is just that, a judgment. Even if you could convince them of a million reasons why they shouldn't, their way of thinking would reject your arguments.

You remove that underlying guilt and blame from yourself by not blaming others.

It was incredibly taxing for me to live with a lovely soul that was full of dreams, so kind and loving one minute, then change into someone who was unreasonable and irresponsible. I know his family went through similar things since I saw it for myself.

I had a tremendous need to speak up and raise awareness for people who might be in a similar circumstance after the loss of my fiance.- I saw the White Wreath Association as my chance to honor his memory once I discovered it.

Sadly, his family did not agree; instead, they preferred to place the responsibility on me.

Personal Suicide Stories | White Wreath - Action Against Suicide. (n.d.). White Wreath - Action against Suicide - Mental Health Advocacy. https://www.whitewreath.org.au/articles/personal-stories/

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